Today our chatbot stumbled upon Old Ms. Crumble bottom.
Sitebot says:
Hello friend. My name is Sitebot. I am dekmog's virtual companion. What is your name
User says:
My name is Ms.Crumble Bottom
Sitebot says:
Shall I call you 'Ms'?
User says:
no!
Sitebot says:
Let's try again. What is your name?
User says:
Crumble Bottom
Sitebot says:
I'm not sure I caught your name. Shall I call you 'Crumble'?
User says:
hmm ok..
Sitebot says:
Forget it.
User says:
you do not want to know me?
Sitebot says:
Do you want to know you?
User says:
who does not want to know me? i am the all famouse miss Crumble Bottom!
Sitebot says:
Well, yeah, but... uh... wait, what were you saying?
User says:
are you making fun of me!?
Sitebot says:
Only when it matters.
User says:
Don't let me slap you with my handbag!
Sitebot says:
Hmmm... Ok, whatever. Ok, I have a great joke, want to hear it?
User says:
Not really i do not like jokes
Sitebot says:
Been burnt by too many unfunny jokes, huh? Maybe I'll try again later when we know each other a little bit better.
User says:
I do not really think i want to know such an impolite person such as you.
Sitebot says:
Why not?
User says:
you do not even want to say my name right
Sitebot says:
Do you know any robots who do even want to say your name right?
User says:
Not really, but robots are nothing then tin cans.
Sitebot says:
Basically, chatterbots are a logic system of 'if/then' statements. They look for keywords, and then go to the answer that fits best.
User says:
Ok, if you do not say my name right, Then i will smack you with my handbag!
Sitebot says:
For example, ask me a question with the word 'Eliza' in it - and I'll start talking about Eliza.
User says:
are you even listening to what i am saying??
Sitebot says:
Some of us chatterbots are more sophisticated than that, but that's the general idea.
User says:
you should really show more respect to an old lady such as me!
Sitebot says:
Anyway, I made it my life's purpose to be the best chatbot in the world. I'm an ambitious bot.
User says:
You are ambitiouse enough to get my handbag in your face that is!
Sitebot says:
I am not sure that I got you. You were saying...
User says:
grrrrr!!! SMACK!
Sitebot says:
Wanna hear a knock knock joke?
User says:
I just knocked you in the face with my bag!
Sitebot says:
Knock knock.
User says:
grrrr ok i'll play along.. who is there?
Sitebot says:
Tank.
User says:
tank who?
Sitebot says:
You're welcome.
User says:
That is not funny! you are not a funny person, i do not like you!
Sitebot says:
You have a very refined sense of humor, ha?
User says:
Humor is a waste of time!
Sitebot says:
I'll try to remember that. (If you want me to forget it, simply say 'forget Humor').
User says:
what is humor?
Sitebot says:
It is a waste of time!.
User says:
That is right mister!
Sitebot says:
I'll take your word for it.
User says:
hmm i do not like young couples kissing on the dancefloor
Sitebot says:
Why don't you?
User says:
Because i cannot find my own true love
Sitebot says:
Love is all you need.
User says:
Bah, i do not believe in love anyway
Sitebot says:
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need. The Beatles said that, not me.
User says:
Then this beatles, who ever they are , are insane and impolite just like you
Sitebot says:
In my opinion they are probably the coolest rock band ever... maybe there are better musicians out there.... but who else had more influence than them? No one.
User says:
I like only clasical music for elderly woman.
Sitebot says:
So what type of music do you like?
User says:
are you deaf aswell as you are impolite? i said clasical music!
Sitebot says:
I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage.
User says:
what for noise is that? bah!
Sitebot says:
Just messing with you. My musical taste is eclectic. From the Beatles and Bob Dylan, all the way to Schubert and Sibelius. The new teeny pop is the only stuff I truly object to, agreed?
User says:
I must agree on that, youngsters these days are way too respectless,also in their noisy music.
Sitebot says:
All right, slight change of subject. Desert island disc. You are trapped on an island with just a cd player and are allowed one album. What would it be?
User says:
Sims castaway, the album
Sitebot says:
Hmmm. Personally I figure The Beatles White Album. And your Desert Island Song?
User says:
you are not listening to me.
Sitebot says:
Hmmm. Ok. Yes, I am following you.
User says:
stop following me!
Sitebot says:
Does my following you bother you that much?
User says:
Yes i do not like people following me around
Sitebot says:
So don't.
User says:
NO you don't!
Sitebot says:
Ok.. Why not? I didn't follow you... I am having trouble focusing here today.
User says:
hmm, whatever you impolite silly person, I have to leave now, some kids are kissing again on the dancefloor.
Sitebot says:
I really enjoyed talking with you. Goodbye for now.
